Digging Through Who I'm Not ... To Find Out Who I Am...

I probably say this a lot ... but I could really care less.

I HAVE to do something about myself. My weight ... I have to. I'm making a vow this time. I used to be attractive, you see. I had a pretty figure. The kind of figure that allowed me to where extremely short shirts without shame of any sort. I try to do that now, and I'll look pregnant...

I seriously hate the way I look. Honestly--I can't stand it anymore. I am literally disgusted with my appearance. Everything about how I look right now feels ... "wrong". I feel like I'm literaly WEARING another person ... Pounds and pounds of someone else's flesh ... I want to dig through it so badly ... I want to reveal who I used to be ... no--a BETTER me. A stronger, smarter, healthier me. I can no longer bear what has become of me ... Satisfying a food craving isn't worth the way I'm feeling anymore. Being lazy isn't working for me anymore. I can no longer meet the gaze of my own reflection, because it isn't me I'm looking at. I'm ready to break out...

Somebody toss me a shovel ... I've got a whole lot of digging to do ... starting now...

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Current Mood: fat
Current Music: Rob Zombie - Super Beast