Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Ooo! A Bone! *pick, pick, pick*

Alright, bitches ... I need to break my usual shtick of only coming on here to spew mouth diarrhea and slam my footpaw down on something.

Me venting about having difficult times with my mate ... is NOT a green light to start vying for my affections. Still don't know quite why there always seems to be an entourage of people yearning to wriggle themselves between my (thunder) thighs. It used to be a compliment (when I was, like, what ... 15?) but now, it's just plain icky, mate or not. And I've been at this for 7 years ... YEARS--if all of them were full of bad instead of good, do you think either of us would still be here? I know -I- wouldn't. Destructive self-loathing was SO 2 years ago.

I'd REALLY rather not kick up a shitstorm of e-drama ... but this specific situation pisses me the fuck off, so I really need to address it, albeit anonymously.

When someone you thought was your friend but has acted in ways that clearly contradict that fact remains out of contact for a long while, you tend to think it's pretty over and life can proceed as normal. But when said individual randomly decides to call you, I consider that odd. And when it's 4 times with 3 voice mails, I consider that creepy. And when its to a phone number I'm nearly positive I never gave said person, it's downright perplexing. What probably made things worse was that when dealing with an unknown number that is asking for me from a phone-number that isn't mine, I have my mom answer the phone pretending to be me and she does a fine job getting rid of said callers. So ... yeah. Her doing that THIS time probably only further encouraged this individual, but it's not like this is a situation we run regular drills for or something. This REALLY came out of the blue was was the absolute LAST thing anyone expected. So really not her fault.

In any case, I can only think of 2 reasons for why this individual would be hounding after me this doggedly. (1) There was a falling out with the significant other and I'm Plan B ... or (2) Said individual read this and took this as a golden opportunity to try and whisk me away from my "horrid, horrid life" ... for like the millionth time. In either scenario, it's still pretty damn insulting.

If it's the first reason, I'm not your back-up gal that you can go wailing to for a comfort-fuck or something. Way to make a person feel objectified there, champ! I mean really ... what the hell? When I used to do the running to, I'd receive an earful about my previous transgressions and how you still hold it against me. YOU do it, and I'm supposed to welcome you with open arms? The street runs both ways, honey! Besides ... even if there WASN'T anyone with me, I wouldn't bite the bait. Why? Because that's not where I am in my life anymore. I've grown past that. You might consider doing the same.

If it's the second, you are really, REALLY lucky that I don't approach said significant other of yours about everything you've attempted with me while still being with them. The one and ONLY reason I don't is because the backlash of e-drama that will immediately ensue will become a hurricane of hearsay, gossip, and online politics that I absolutely DO NOT need on top of everything else going wrong in my life right now. As much as I feel this poor person has a right to know what the person pretending to love them is doing behind their back, that is just WAY more involvement than I'd like to invest in, to my own detriment, I'm sure.

So long story short(er) ... this isn't cool. All of the drama we've muddled through before is ONE thing ... playing the role of creepy stalker is a WHOLE other ballgame. And I gotta be honest ... I REALLY didn't see this one coming.

This ends here. The games, the power struggles, the back-and-forth? I've had more than my fill of these for QUITE some time, thank you. ENOUGH. I used to harbor the belief that perhaps in time, you'd come to your senses and be able to hold civil discourse without inciting warfare or playing tricks. That may very well be the case, but right now ... I'm furious that you've made my innermost fears valid.

I've drawn my line in the sand.
Current Mood: assertive
Current Music:
Breaking Benjamin - Breath


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